After this update, I am going to go to the more positive side of things. There are so many more wonderful things that I have experienced with adoption and I don't want to digress too far from those blessings.
Britt has been gone for 4 weeks now and has landed in her third place. She is determined to prove that she doesn't need us or our rules. ...and I have become okay with that.
....maybe too okay. We have cleaned and packed her room and are getting ready to put Grandma in it when she visits. I am picturing a sewing machine and my family picture projects in that room. Britt has called us and my husband met at St. Arbuck's with her. She, for some reason, didn't want to meet at home. (although she came home while we were not there - looking for something...) We have not begged her to come home... and we won't.
She said she is not angry anymore. My husband asked what she was angry at to begin with. It was the rules.... funny thing is - every where she has gone so far has rules.
To be honest, I am still a bit angry and hurt. If you knew all of the details of what I have been through with the other one, you would think I would have callouses over that part of my heart. But it stings nonetheless. I guess it is anger from the ungratefulness and hurt from the way she left and the stories she weaves about how controlling I am. When I asked her to give me an example of how I controlled her, she could not come up with even one. My response was that I have absolutely NO DESIRE to control anyone. That would mean my kids would stay home longer and I DON'T WANT THEM TO!!! Really, I don't.
The father of the newest 'victim' called us the other day to find out if it was okay that she was there. My husband was able to shed light on a few things, for which the man was grateful. In the conversation, we learned that this new place she chose to camp is a very strong Christian home.... WITH RULES!
Funny thing is, I have always raised my kids to be independent. I have tried to teach them to make good choices while at home so they can experience what it is like to have consequences for both good and bad choices. I guess some are just hard-wired NOT to make the connection.
Okay, I'm done with the moaning. I am worn out from it. Life is too good to lament too long!
3 comments:
I think I heard the rustle of paper as a page was turned and a new chapter was begun.
I am hugging you. A big, huge hug from your neice-y poo.
I have to believe that one day God will finally get their attention.
I think of you very often and always have throughout the years - just wondering about your life, how you do it, wishing I could somehow make a positive difference/contribution. So....I'm glad to have found your blog and will stay tuned!
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