My heart has completed its breaking. I feel numb and stony about my daughters who refuse my love.
....so I will rant and vent for a moment...
Brittany sent a mass text message out that her graduation was to be June 5th and wanted everyone to come. Call me old fashioned, but I would have liked at least a call or personal invite....I am, after all, the mother here. Besides that fact, I have made it clear to her several times over that I will no longer be communicating with her through text message and that if she wants to talk with me, she can either call or is welcome to come over.
Last Thursday, Brittany's teacher and advisor called me, once again, to find Brittany. She had not been showing up, once again, for class and was, once again....not returning phone calls. Her teacher told me that she was definitely not going to graduate. She said she had gone out on a limb for her and Brittany had taken advantage of her (once again!)
I also explained to the teacher that she had not logged any PE hours and that I would not lie just to pass her (this was a home study class).
When I got off of the phone with the teacher, that was final...she could graduate next year as a "super senior" - but had not put forth the effort to graduate this year.
One week later, our son reminded us that Britt was graduating and wondered if we were going? I said, "No, she is not graduating- I just talked to her teacher..."
This morning I called the teacher again and told her that I had heard 'through the grapevine' that she was still graduating - and she said, "Well, it looks like she pulled it together...." Which really meant, "She manipulated us again...." She said they are allowing her to walk if she promised to finish her class....DUH!
Then, I boldly asked her the question that had been burning on my heart... "Why, at the first of the year, did you require a PE class for credit when she must not need the credit to graduate - since she DID NOT log even a fraction of the hours she was required to? I mean, she obviously didn't really need it. The teacher told me (for the first time) that it changed when she moved out of our home and that she told her she is doing her PE and that I don't really need to sign of on it! Trust me...I absolutely have NO DOUBT that Brittany has her teacher manipulated to the point that she wants her.
Tonight was her pretend graduation, so my husband and I decided to go out to dinner instead of pretending that our daughter was graduating. We thought a lot about it and decided that we are tired of being used.
She had the audacity to send us each a text message saying, "Thanks for showing up for my graduation."
I have already cried many, many tears today and just when I think I am dried up, I start in again. I think I am done for the night.
Judge me all you want....I am used to it. What I am also quite familiar with is that phone call or conversation AFTER someone has been used up by either one of the girls, that says..."oh, now I understand what you meant...."
I am quite familiar with the smug suggestions of younger parents who have not walked in my shoes or on the same path I have.... the ones who get their parenting skills from a magazine, book or college class.... trust me....I know....I was one of those.
Go ahead walk in my shoes....I dare you... or better yet - wear MY heart for awhile. You WILL want to give it back.
