Are adoptions really for all?

I am contemplating the title of my blog and wondering if it is honest... I mean are adoptions really for all...
I guess you could say I'm going through another 'rough patch' - I've been through my share, but I guess there are still more and it leaves me with the question, 'what if?' what if we had not adopted the girls? Would my other children be better off? Or has this 11 year ordeal been a good thing for my original family?
I would like to believe that it has shown them that we can choose to love whether or not we are loved in return. I guess the future will tell....
Britt left home two weeks ago. She was 7 when we adopted her and she was never the same as her sister. She was bright and full of promise. She didn't show the signs of being born with drugs in her system like Tiff did. She was intelligent, eager and ready to love and be loved.
She detested the things that her birth siblings did. So much so, that she wouldn't even speak to them. She told us many, many times that she had no intention of doing what her sisters and brother did. Up until two weeks ago....we believed her.
It seemed like out of the blue - she did a complete turnaround....to the dark side. In retrospect, I see it had been brewing, but she kept it all inside and put on a false front. All the while, she was working her friends and family.
She packed her bags right before Christmas and left. Just like that. We had too many rules. When asked which rules seemed unreasonable, she could not say. I wanted to know if it was the one that said she needed to let us know where she was going and with whom. It might have been the one that restricted her from going anywhere until her homework was done because she was pulling F's. Or perhaps it was the one that wouldn't allow her to talk on her cell phone in the middle of the night and during school hours - I think it's rude. Or maybe the consequences that happened when she did any or all of the above.
Whatever the case, she is gone. Just like her predecessors.
Not surprisingly, she showed up for Christmas. Beforehand, I guessed that she would collect her presents and leave as soon as was possible. She came to Christmas Eve with the family because that is when we give the kids new pajamas and have a great feast. She sneered at the very expensive pj's that I got at Victoria's Secret for her, saying they would be too big (they fit fine.) I offered to take them back (probably in a less-than-friendly tone...) but she said they would be fine.
She stayed the night so she could get up the next morning and get her stocking, the money that we gave the kids and the gifts they gave to each other. We had a lovely dinner and she left. Just like that. I did not hear ONE thank you through the whole Christmas celebration. That was probably the most unpleasant Christmas I had ever spent. I kept pretty quiet the whole time. I didn't want to share my misery with the others, so I put on a happy face.
Where does a girl like this go you ask? Well, that's the interesting part to this. They 'work the system' - it's a trait that seems to be imprinted on them.
....okay, let me just stop here and say something to you who are saying that I am making generalizations and already formulating advice for me.... I have heard it and tried it. Perhaps you have adopted kids and are certain they won't ever do anything like this....you have a 'different' way of dealing with them. You pray for them or you attended classes... or you are just a better parent than I am. That may be, but you wait until you get down the road a bit and have walked in those shoes a bit longer. You may be singing my tune. Until then, I understand your point of view...but it's wrong. Don't judge. Now, I'm done with that interruption.
Britt had been telling me for awhile that she had TONS of friends whose parents would let her live with them. Of course, I countered with the fact that she would wear out her welcome and they would not want her sponging off of them for long.
The way it works is laid out in the book, "Can This Child Be Saved?" (see blog Story by Story.)
She is now on to her second 'victim' (not including us - her family) and will continue to wear them all out with her lies. I keep thinking there has got to be an end to people who believe her and give her what she wants, but judging from her sister's path - there is a sucker born every minute. I might add - MOST of the people who take these kids in, find out soon enough that they are being manipulated and sever the relationship.
Sorry. I know I sound like Debbie Downer, but I was just wondering aloud.....